Life Goes On

Wow! Life is just running at full speed and I can barely keep up! I'm back from Italy! It was incredible! I had to keep a journal every day while I was on my trip so I'm just going to repost all of those entires with pictures.  But first I need to catch up with everything else that's going on! Oh my word! Where to start...

A few weeks ago Kendall took me to Davis High's Moonlight Serenade (every year the jazz band, moonlight singers, and dancers put on a show where you can come and dance as well). Kendall and I decided that since the Salsa was popular at the same time as jazz that we would dress the part (Okay, I don't really know if that's true but it was easier to find a salsa dress than a 20's style flapper dress). I'd say we looked pretty hawt ;)

It was absolutely one of the funnest dances I've been to! Kendall is incredibly good at dancing and I'm mediocre at following so we made a pretty okay couple. Apparently other people thought so too. We had a few random people come up to us and ask how long we'd been dancing together, if we were professional or that we should be, and how we learned to dance like that. Truth is, we simply repeated the few moves we did know, whether they fit the beat of the song or not. In my opinion, the magic came from the fact that Kendall and I are both performers (I danced and he was in musical productions) so we know how to perform well whether or not we are good at what we're doing - that, and we were having the time of our lives so I'm sure the big smiles on our faces and in our eyes made us look even better :)

Maybe I miss dancing...

Let's see, what else is new? I'm currently unemployed, or jobless if you want to use the more politically correct term. I probably shouldn't complain about my job too much where other people can read it, but it was awful. I hated the negative, backbiting work environment, the power hungry management, the unseen motto of "faster is better and it better be accurate or else", the ridiculous reasons to get written up, and the feeling of walking on pins and needles every day at work just to not get yelled at rather than do my job right. After a year of that I was done. I really don't think I could have endured it long enough to find another job. I can't handle a negative environment like that. One should not have to pray to be a good employee every day before work and be terrified to walk in afraid of who's going to be yelling and for what reason next. That's ridiculous. So if you have any ideas on leads for a new job... preferable one that give me the same $13 an hour, that would be awesome!

I decided not to take a summer semester. I declared a double major, Interior Design and Technical Sales and decided that if I took summer semesters I could be done by 2013 like intended - but I've finally come to the realization that life does not have to be rushed. Why do I need to be graduated so soon? Yes, it would be wonderful to be done with school before or soon after I get married and especially before kids, but I don't see any reason to burn myself out because of it. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.

Remember two years ago when I went to California for a school trip and had to use a cane because of a leg injury? Guess what little friend I got to take with me to ITALY?? We may not be friends anymore. I'll just explain real quick how I got a lovely stress fracture in my foot just before my trip. At the beginning of May I was working on a final project for a class. The day it was due, 30 minutes before class, my group was still printing pages and gluing stuff to a board (don't worry, so were all the other groups, as well as the professor). I had to run down to the printing center on campus but was slowed down by heels and a pencil skirt. My solution? Take off the heels, hike the skirt up a little bit, and run - there were about 10 minutes to presentation time at this point. With the first or second step I took I felt a snap in my foot, yelped a little, limped a little, but I was fine and kept going. I was fine the rest of the day, but every time I went running after that it would get worse. I figured this was just a side effect of training for a half marathon and I didn't worry about it too much. Until the Tuesday before I left for Italy... I went on a lovely run with Kendall - it was a pretty easy going run, and I kept making him stop to take breaks for "my back" not wanting to tell him about my foot too. I made it home, and within the next hour I could barely walk my foot hurt so bad. I sat in the office and cried a little bit as I explained to my mom what had happened. I made a doctors appointment for the next day, found out I had a stress fracture, was told to stay off of it completely until my trip, good luck in Italy, and to make another appointment when I got home to see what more damage I had done. Great. I was ecstatic about this news.

It's still healing - I never went back to the doctor... :S It hurts every Wednesday after volleyball but I really am taking it easy. I swear if I take it any easier I'm going to lose my mind. The half marathon will  have to be postponed until it heals completely though...

Well I think that may be all the catching up I can do for now. Oh! Jeremy graduates from high school tomorrow! This blows my mind - what is happening to the life that I've known for so long?? My goodness...

Guilty Pleasure

What's my guilty pleasure?? Chocolate? Okay yes, guilty. Chocolate is definitely a weakness of mine - put any combination of chocolate and caramel or chocolate and peanut butter in front of me and there is no hope. However, I'm actually going to talk about a better, healthier, more exciting guilty pleasure of mine. One that makes me smile just thinking about it.

running.

Yep. You read correctly. I am absolutely in LOVE with running! Why? This question has actually been weighing on my mind all week. (Well, in all honesty, Tanner asked me in his most recent letter why I have taken such a liking to running, which has caused me to contemplate the true reason).

I started running when I moved down to BYU but I was never very serious about it - only going a couple times a week and not running hardly at all when it got colder. Then I picked in back up again that summer. I began thinking, "Maybe I'll train for a marathon or something". But I soon realized how far fetched this idea really was and let it go. However, I continued running. More as a form of relaxation than exercise.

I love nature and feel that we can be connected with it in a way, and running outside allowed me to make that connection. It gave me an opportunity to enjoy what was around me, to "slow down" from my busy life and breath. 

After Tanner left I had a lot more free time; time I spent running. What's a girl to do on a Friday night when her boy has left? Run. When I moved up to Weber I was most ecstatic about being able to find a new trail to run on (you can only run on a relatively flat, straight trail for so long and enjoy it (the legacy trail by my house)). When it got colder I realized I was right the down the street from the Weber State gym - free to students. Bomb! :) 

I used to have something against treadmills. Why not be outside enjoying nature, breathing fresh air? However, I have had to overcome that for it is much too cold to run outside. But believe it or not, I have absolutely fallen in love with treadmills. I can set the speed and completely zone out, letting the treadmill pull me along. I let the music from my ipod consume my thoughts as I stare at my feet in the mirror while the beat of the music and my step synchronize. Before I know it an hour has passed. 5.5 miles of track. 671 feet in elevation. 

I think running is my replacement for dancing. Why did I dance? I loved being one with the music. Letting all thoughts disappear as the music ran through my veins, the moves and notes following the same crescendo and decrescendo, my dress flowing gently across my skin as I moved, a thin saber or blunt rifle spinning with me and around me yet with a strong forceful appearance, and allowing the energy of the music to match the energy of the dance and portraying that to the audience. It doesn't get any better than that. I can't dance anymore. But when I run I get to let the music consume me again. My steps match the beat of the music once more. My breathe is synchronized with each move I make just like it did when I danced. 

Maybe all that is just my romanticized view of the world, but what's wrong with that? I LOVE RUNNING! Who knows, maybe I will end up running a half marathon this summer - but for now that is just an idea. I'll just enjoy the running for now...

Half-Time

These are some pictures from our first BYU football game performance. Here we are getting ready to go!
Both Jake and Tanner think our color guard uniforms are extremely attractive, so of course we had to strike some poses for them ;)

This is my pose at the beginning of our guard feature "Hernando's Hide-away". Probably my favorite song of all the ones we perform.

BYU Color Guard...

We just finished band camp at BYU.... I don't really know what to say. It's about 10 steps down from high school guard. And it's incredible how immature these college girls are. I feel so much older than them, even though I'm not. For example, there were themes for each day at band camp. Tuesday was "80's" day...
Wednesday was "Movie Themes" and the color guard girls decided to be 101 Dalmations... I thought these girls were in their 20's? Some of them are even getting married? And we're dressing up like dogs! Are you kidding me?!

Thursday was "Blue and White" Day and we had to wear these ridiculous skirts. So Emery and I tried to make the most of it and got a little carried away. Probably too scandelous for BYU... haha.

I don't know how I'm going to make it the rest of the year with these girls... And not only that, but the work is SO easy and SO boring. In high school it was actually challenging. We did things I never thought I could do, but after a lot of practice I got it. Here all we do is carves, dropspins, and other boring work... Why am I wasting my time with this?

Surge of Adrenaline....

Three hours a day, 4 days a weeks, sweat, tears, and exhaustion. Color guard is a three section syncopated dance performed with flags, sabers, and rifles on a football field to the sound of the marching band. That’s what I’ve done for the past three years of my life; it has been my life. Yet I loved every minute of it, until it was taken from me.

It starts clear back at the beginning of May. Color guard tryouts, and then parade season; my least favorite of all the seasons. Once those two grueling months of practice marching down long streets under the scorching sun are over, field show season starts. This one has the longest practices, the longest season, the most drastic weather changes, yet the most energy and excitement.

Band camp, Delta, Utah…need I say much more? I’ve never seen a more barren place than Delta, Utah; a vast expanse of…nothing. There isn’t a town for another forty-five minutes, and you can barely see the existence of mountains on the horizon to the east. We wake up at five for early morning practice until seven. It’s tough waking up so early to go spin a weapon, not only in the dark with a lone street lamp for light but frozen fingers making it nearly impossible to risk catching. Yet it’s worth it and although I didn’t realize it much then, I loved the experience of being outside as the sun rose from the east, caressing the land with its warmth and light. After early practice, we would go inside to eat breakfast and to shower until 8:30. After which, we head out to the field; a vast expanse, again, of nothing, maybe three football fields in size. There are trees along the perimeter, but that doesn’t do us much good as we stand in the middle of a football field. We spend hours learning sets and drill, having the Dr. Beat (the metronome) blast through our entire body all week until it seems to overpower the beat of our own hearts. Aside from the hour break for lunch and dinner, we are outside under the blistering sun running against the wind until the world becomes still and there is hardly enough light to see in front of us.

Then it’s on to music rehearsal. This is one of the best parts of band camp. The entire band somehow manages to fit into the cafeteria of the recreation center to practice playing the field show all together. Just imagine for a moment sitting in the middle of 250 band members as they play through the movements. The music completely engulfs you; you feel it in every fiber, every ounce of your body and the energy is overwhelming. It’s amazing! That right there, that feeling, that energy and power, that’s what I love. I’ve ask myself may times while at band camp and rehearsals why I’m doing this again, why I’m torturing myself by spending practically every hour of my life at color guard. But the answer is always right there in the music, in the show; it’s that energy that consumes my entire being while I’m out there on that football field, performing and showing the world what I do best. Our first performance of the year: September 27, 2008, Logan, Utah. It was going to be a good show. We had practiced long and hard and had the cuts and bruises to prove it. I hadn’t been feeling well that day, but I wasn’t going to let that interfere with my performance. It was just like every other show I had experienced since my sophomore year; we got our minds in focus, stretched, warmed up, and then waited for our turn to perform. Those last few moments of silence were spent running the show over in our minds to make every move perfect and that’s exactly what was going to happen. What happened next blindsided me like nothing I have ever before experienced. The show started and everything was going well. The first movement was great, no major mistakes. Then on to the second movement. Half way through and tragedy struck. I was running backwards, throwing a simple double, something I had done perfectly a million times, but then, I rolled my ankle. Pain shot through me like a bolt of lightning; I wanted to scream and collapse on the ground but I was in the middle of the field surrounded by 250 band members all going different directions, what could I do? I took the next few steps; they were practically unbearable. My eyes, blurred with tears and confusion, shot around in different directions as I looked for an escape route, yet there was none. I stumbled over the routine trying to get a grip on what was going on. It was clear to me that my only option was to continue. So I pulled myself back together, forced a smile through tear-filled eyes, and did just that – I continued.

The mind is a powerful thing and one can truly do anything when they put their mind to it. I finished the second movement and was bent down ready to pick up my rifle for the third movement when I felt a slight amount pain begin to grow in my ankle. But that was not going to stop me; I was finishing my show. The music began, and so did I. I kept my mind focused on my performance, and that power, along with the adrenaline surging through my body, allowed me to finish what was to be my last color guard performance.