New Year's Resolutions

I have a hard time with the idea of New Year's Resolutions. I feel like they are an excuse for people to make goals that wouldn't have made them otherwise. I guess it's a good thing though... shows that people are trying? What I don't understand is why people don't just make their big goals as the ideas come to them. Why wait for some day on a calendar in the middle of the winter? If you want to lose weight, lose weight now. If you want to read that book, read it now. We could all be progressing at a much faster rate in life if we would just continually set big goals and not wait for once a year. None-the-less, I have decided not to boycott the social norm of goal making this year. However, all goals that I have decided to set go above and beyond the typical, "get good grades", "exercise more"... nonsense that most people use as a goal setting cop-out. I have even broken my large goals up into four different categories (adopted from the categories of connection I feel are important in relationships). Mind, body, heart, and soul.

MIND
This category would include anything that I feel is associated with intelligence, stimulating the mind, or educational growth. Therefore my goal in this area is to read four books of classical literature. This would include works from authors like Dickens, Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Steinbeck, etc.

BODY
Body includes all physical goals. This year my goals are to participate in five triathlons and set a new PR for my 5K time.

HEART
The heart category would be for things that I enjoy. One must not simply set practical goals, fun goals are just as important if succeeding is the mission. My goal for this area could probably fall under the "body" category, however it is something that I enjoy. I want to try an new healthy recipe every month and do better at logging my eating on my fitness tracker.

SOUL
Soul would be the equivalent of a spiritual category. For this one I would like to do more than just focus on reading my scriptures daily, although this is most likely what everyone else would do for their spiritual goal. I would actually like to take it in a different direction. I want to read books that deal with spirituality and not simply religion. For example, I want to read a book by the Dalai Lama and his view of life. I want to read "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis. Vicktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning" is also on my list.


So.... I'm hoping that the act of publicity announcing my resolutions for the year will be more of a motivating factor to work harder at them since now I have other people that are aware of what I'm trying for than just myself. What are some of your resolutions for the 2012 year?

Abide with Me

Abide with me! fast falls the eventide; the darkness deepens.

Lord, with me abide!

When other helpers fail and comfort flee, help of the helpless,

oh, abide with me!

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day,

Earth's joys grow dim; it's glories pass away.

Change and decay in all around I see;

O thou who changest not, abide with me!

I need thy presence ev'ry passing hour.

What but thy grace can foil the tempter's pow'r?

Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?

Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me!

We sang this hymn in church today and for some reason it really touched me. It seemed to have the same words and emotions as my prayers lately. After having finished Believing Christ I've had an overwhelming desire to have Christ in my life as much as possible. Every time I see the picture of Him in my room I pause and stare at it for a moment, as if waiting for him to tell me something. Often times I stand there and ask Him what he wants me to do; with just about everything. I want nothing more than His guidance in every decision I have to make. I get so scared thinking about the future but I know that my future is as bright as my faith. I know that as long as I ask the Lord to abide with me, he'll be there every step of the way .

Molecular Thoughts

There is a book entitled The Messages of Water written by Japanese author Masaru Emoto. In this book, Emoto discuss studies he has conducted that show the effect that words, ideas, and music have on the aesthetic appeal of water molecules. His experiments consisted of exposing water molecules to specific words, music, or ideas, allowing the molecules to freeze, and then examining the molecular structure with microscopic photography. Emoto experimented with words such as love, gratitude, evil, and hate. He also tested different music such as classical versus rock. For Example:

The picture on the left was taken after the water molecules had been exposed to heavy metal music.

The picture on the right, however, was taken after water molecules had been exposed to folk music.

Why is it that the aesthetic appeal of the second pictures is so much more pristine and beautiful? Why is it that the fragile structure of water can be disturbed by certain words and feelings? It's interesting to note that the human body is approximately 70% water... I wonder what effect our thoughts have on our bodies? In our church we have been counseled by the prophets to have clean thoughts, listen to wholesome music and watch uplifting movies. It seems as though scientific evidence comes a little late, but eventually backs up exactly what we believe. Maybe we're on to something...

Water isn't the only element this experiment has been tested on. Certain plants have been seen to exhibit certain positive and negative characteristics when exposed to specific words or thoughts. Energetic interchanges seem to exist between all forms of life; but does this come as much of a surprise when we know who our maker is? Of course there is an energy in all things.

In the book The Secret it discusses these same principles. If you haven't read it, do so, and keep in mind the similarities between the ideas discussed in it and our religious beliefs. They are very similar, however, it discusses the energy in the world and our relationship with it. It talks about the power of affirmation and things like "Can someone really heal them self of something as terrible cancer simply by thinking they can?" I believe that's possible...

Our words and thoughts have tremendous power; do we fully understand that power though?

Metaphors for Scriptures

Did you know that the scriptures testify of themselves? All throughout the scriptures prophets speak of their importance. For example: 1 Nephi talks about the iron rod as being scripture - "the iron rod is the word of God, 'twill safely guide us through" (hymn 274). Therefore the iron rod is a metaphor that directly means 'scripture'. There are 7 incredible metaphors for the scriptures that directly show the importance of scriptures study. 

1. The Liahona = scripture (1 Nephi 16:10, 26-29) If you recall, the Liahona was a type of compass that Lehi's family used to guide them through the wilderness to the promise land. Had Lehi's family been disobedient, the Liahona would not have worked and they would have wandered in the wilderness with no progression and eventually would have led to death. If the Liahona is a metaphor for the scriptures and the promise land is eternal life, we can conclude that the scriptures guide us to eternal life. Without them we will not progress to the celestial kingdom and ultimately die spiritually.

2. The Iron Rod = scripture (1 Nephi 8:19-20, 23-24) In Nephi's dream, he saw the iron rod leading to the tree of life. He also saw mists of darkness surrounding the rod, and a filthy river following along a strait and narrow path. If the iron rod represents the word of God, these versus in 1 Nephi tell us that the scriptures keep us from temptation and darkness, help us stay on the path, and ultimately lead to the tree of life - Jesus Christ. Without the rod/scriptures there is no way for us to stay on such a narrow path that leads to Christ. You cannot leave the rod/scriptures without also leaving the path. If we do not have the rod, we will wander in darkness, drown in the river, or get swept up in the worldly mansion - ultimately leading to spiritual death.

3. Manna = scripture (Exodus 16) After the Israelites fled Egypt, they wandered through the wilderness and eventually began to murmur for bread. The Lord answered their prayers by having manna rain down from heaven. Just like any food, manna provided the Israelites with strength and nourishment. Therefore if manna is a metaphor for scriptures, we know that the scriptures give us spiritual strength and nourishment. Without food in the literal sense we will die, so without spiritual food our spirit will also die.

4. Lamp = scripture (Psalms 119: 105) "The word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path". In a very simple way, this verse tells us the obvious, we need a light to show us where to go. Therefore if a lamp is a metaphor for the scriptures we know that the scriptures illuminate our path and show us where to go. If we were wandering in darkness without a lamp we would eventually get lost, have nowhere to go, and die. So, without a lamp/scriptures we will in time, die spiritually.

5. Water = scripture (John 4:14) A Samaritan woman came to a well where Christ was resting having traveled from Judea. He asked her to give him a drink and she was surprised that a Jew would speak to someone of her social status. After questioning him, he told her "whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst". Immediately she asked to partake of this water and then went back to the city to tell others. Water quenches thirst. Therefore if the water in this parable represents the scriptures, we know that the scriptures quench our thirst for knowledge. Without water we will die, therefore without spiritual water, we will die spiritually.

6. Sword = scripture (Ephesians 6: 11-18; D&C 27:18; Helaman 3:29; Jacob 2:8) Quite often the scriptures tell us to "put on the armour of God." D&C explains what each piece of armor represents.
helmet of salvation
breastplate of righteousness
loins girt about with truth
feet shod with the gospel of peace
shield of faith
sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Of all the armor listed, the only offensive piece is the sword. Everything else helps protect us from the enemy but the only element that helps us fight and defend the truth is the sword. If the sword is the scriptures, then the scriptures help us fight against the powers of the devil. Also, we know that a sword can heal. If you take this in the literal sense, a sword or knife, is what has enabled modern medicine to heal millions. In Jacob it states that the word (scriptures) healeth the wounded soul. Without the ability to fight the enemy or heal, we will die both physically and spiritually.

7. Seed = scripture (Alma 32:28, 37-38, 41-42) "Faith is like a little seed, if planted it will grow" (children's primary song book). We are told if we plant the seed of the gospel in our hearts and nourish it, it will grow. Well what will it grow into? A tree that will bring forth good fruit. Fruit that is most precious and sweet, white above all that is white, and pure above all that is pure - does this sound familiar? The Tree of Life, even Jesus Christ? If we 'plant' the scriptures in our hearts Christ will grow and dwell within us. Of all of the reasons that scripture study is important, I can't think of a more powerful one that having Christ dwell within us. In a world swept up by the cunning and evilness of the devil, what better way to withstand him than to have our Savior with us at all times?

The new testament is not just an account of Christ life and teachings, the Book of Mormon is not just the keystone that holds our religion together and sets us apart from other Christian faiths, and scripture study is not just something we are encouraged to do because the prophet said to. The scriptures guide us to eternal life, lead us to Christ, give us strength, illuminate our path, quench or thirst for knowledge, allow us to fight the devil and defend the truth, and allow Christ to dwell within us...

Dream - Coming Back

This week I’ve had the most incredible experience, mostly last night, and I want to share it with you. I know it will be difficult to get my emotions across through a letter to you, thousands of miles away, but I just hope that you can feel my spirit and maybe it will speak to yours. I hope that you will at least be able to make sense of all these feelings even though I’m still trying to organize them all. You are the one person I feel like I can and should share them with. Tanner, I think I’m coming back… I went away for a little bit, let go of all that I hold dear, but I think I have finally realized what I had been doing wrong and I hope I know how to fix it. Let me try to explain the best I can… I lay in bed last night after spending some time on my knees with the Lord, I opened up my scriptures and for the second night in a row, just like you said, I found the answer I had been praying for. Tears filled my eyes and I prayed even more. Then hundreds of thoughts began to race through my head. I knew I needed to write them down, but as I looked at the clock and realized it was almost midnight, I told myself I would write them down later; I desperately needed sleep. I woke up this morning with even more thoughts running through my head, I rushed off to class, barely paid attention, and now I’m in the computer lab, trying to sort through these thoughts and emotion that are overwhelming my entire mind. I just hope I can get all my thoughts out before my next class starts… I apologize if reading this seems like I’m telling a story that I’ve related to gospel principles, it’s the best way I can think to express my feelings. I guess it is a story of the last few months of my life. I just hope you can try to understand and still accept me after I leave myself vulnerable to your thoughts. I was walking along my path in life, just as I always had. There was a little bit of fog covering the path, however, the rod that I was holding illuminated the way just enough that I knew just where to go. I continued walking. Then instead of keeping my eyes straight ahead, I began to look around, I wanted to see what was going on around me. Why? I had never wanted to do this before… But I indulged in a little curiosity. I turned to my left, and in the distance I saw a form. The fog made it difficult to see what it was, but I was intrigued. I loosened my grip just enough that I could turn a little further, look a little harder, and there it was. A building. The lights were on and I could see people inside. Something told me, “You don’t care what they’re doing, don’t worry about it – keep going.” But something else told me, “Look a little harder. Don’t you just want to watch? You don’t have to let go, just watch.” So that’s what I did. I took one step closer, stopped walking, and just sat and watched, with my hand gently placed on the rod. If I look back over the past few months I don’t know exactly when this happened. It wasn’t a point in time that I just turned and disregarded my path, it was a slow relaxation of my standards, and probably was reinforced by the Lake Powell trip with nonmembers questioning my testimony and the church. I defended everything that I stood for, but after the ‘debate’ thoughts of doubt and question filled my mind. Why did I let what they were saying get to me? Why did I ignore the spirit that entire trip with little things like what to wear, what to say, and how to act? These questions still remain unanswered. (It’s interesting to note that this is where you mentioned you noticed a change in my tone in my letters…) I continued to watch the building and the people inside. There was nothing of importance going on, but for some reason, I kept watching. At times I would turn and see people passing me along the path, but I was too scared to ask for help, I figured I could just come back on my own. However, feelings of emptiness grew as I continued to watch. I wondered why I felt so alone. I wondered why I began to feel unworthy to be one of God’s children. An image keeps popping into my mind. One where I see myself standing in a field of dead grass with my eyes closed. The sky is gloomy and the colors are all muted. As I keep watching this image, I see a tornado begin to spin around me, which upon close examination is a tornado of words; words that I shouldn’t believe – all from the advisary trying to bring me down. But as the tornado thickens and darkens, I can’t get out. The longer I stand there the less my own light fades and my skin turns a dingy gray color… I turn my head from the great building full of people, and look back towards my right hand, still placed gently on the rod. I see another hand, reached out towards me. I look up and see my bishop standing there, hand outstretched, with Christ at his side. Both have this look in their eyes of longing and love. I can feel that they want me to come with them and I am overcome by a feeling to join them. I release my hand from the rod and begin to reach towards that outstretched hand. Then I hear a whisper in my ear, filled with those same words that I saw in the tornado, “You’re not worthy of them. You don’t need them.” I retract my hand and place it back on the rod. The look of sadness in the eyes of my bishop and my Savior tear my soul in two. Tears begin to stream down my face for I know not what to do. I feel them both fade away and I am left alone. Feelings of guilt and inadequacy overwhelm my soul and I fall down on my knees and begin to sob. After a time I open my eyes to see a pile of letters on the ground next to my leg. I open each and begin to read. They are filled with love and encouragement from my best friend. He is off fighting a different battle, looking for our lost brothers and sisters to bring them back to the path. In each letter he bares testimony of the Savior, sometimes by simply encouraging me to read my scriptures. He tells me to pray with a question in mind and then search my scriptures and I will always find the answer. He tells me to trust the Lord. He bears his testimony of the Plan of Salvation. I’ve heard these things before. I reach into my back pocket and pull out a tattered Book of Mormon and begin to read. Just as my friend said, and just as I knew they would, the answers seemed to jump off each page. Each night I prayed and each night I received an answer. I placed my hand on the rod and stood up - filled with new conviction. I looked up and saw my bishop still standing there, with arms outstretched. A tread of fear began to weave its way into my heart, but I quickly grabbed his hand. He pulled me into a hug and said, “Don’t be scared, Kyra. I’m right here. Let me help you. I know you want to do this on your own but let me help you. The Savior has been here the whole time, let me help you see him.” This last paragraph basically sums up this last week. That seems like such a short time for things to change, but it began with a meeting with my bishop last Sunday. It was just a simple meeting to get to know each other, since my birthday was coming up. The first thing the bishop commented on was how happy I was; and it was true. I am happy, and that’s why I thought I was doing okay. The Lord fills us with joy, right? Why would he let us experience joy if we weren’t doing what we were supposed to be? I knew I was struggling spiritually, but when the bishop asked I said I was doing good (I intentionally didn’t say great, just good). We talked for a second about what makes people glow and came up with two things- worthiness and the Spirit. I wanted to ask him if I glow, because I honestly don’t know… I’ve had people tell me recently that I do, but I certainly don’t feel that way. So why can others see it and I can’t? At the end of the meeting I asked the bishop to give me a blessing. I told him I just needed strength and guidance. He paused, and for a moment I wasn’t sure how much of my true feelings he already knew. He gave me the blessing and I know I could feel my Savior reaching out his hand to me. I didn’t want the blessing to end, I hadn’t felt that close to my Savior in a very long time, but alas, it ended. I stood up and the bishop gave me a hug and asked if there was anything else he could do for me. This is the part where I retracted my hand. I smiled politely, thanked him, but said I was good. Why didn’t I reach out to him and tell him that I needed him? Why didn’t I tell him that I don’t know how to see the Savior in my life? I believe that is why this week was that way that it was. It has brought me so much more understanding of the experience of Alma the Younger in chapter 36. Now I don’t know all that he went through, but this last week I can say that my mind and Spirit have been in an unending wrestling match. I can barely focus on my school work, I can’t fall asleep… the only thing I can think about is asking the bishop to help me. I’ve been trying to push that idea out of my mind all week, it scares me to death. In my mind talking to the bishop was always for repentance of something big. In Institute on Wednesday night the lesson was all about repentance. The minute the teacher announced the lesson topic, tears filled my eyes as I knew it was specifically for me. Things that I should have understood a long time ago finally came full circle as I realized how imperfect I am and how much help I need. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I’m ALWAYS going to need to repent. I knew this but I don’t think I completely understood it. The bishop isn’t there just to confess sins to, he’s there to help me repent of anything and everything and find the Savior again. This last part being the key. I thought I could find the Savior on my own. I didn’t understand why I needed someone else to help me find something that is so personal. The truth is, I can’t do this on my own. I can’t express how grateful I am for the Atonement, that my older brother would be so willing to suffer so much just to come find me and reach his hand out to me and say, “Kyra, I’m waiting for YOU. I’m here for YOU. Just LET me help you.” All I have to do is let him in. I don’t know why I’ve struggled to do that. I read in my scriptures either that night or the night before one of the scriptures that had an answer for me. 3 Nephi 18:32 – Christ is talking to his disciples and just explained the sacrament to them. He explains the organization of the church and then talks about the repentance of his people. At the end of verse 32 he says, “I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them.” This helped me understand why I need to not be afraid, but let my bishop help me. I’ve been struggling with understanding the importance of a bishop, but that one sentence explains everything. Thursday on my way home from work I called the executive secretary and set up an appointment to meet with the bishop this coming Tuesday. I was surprised at the amount of comfort that came just from making the appointment. Fear is still trying to weave its way into my mind, but I keep reminding myself that I have nothing to be afraid of. I don’t know why that’s the one emotion that won’t give up, but I’m determined to win this battle. Later Thursday night I received another answer through my scriptures. I almost didn’t grab my scriptures that night. I had periodically been reading them throughout the day and when I climbed into bed late that night I thought, “I’m good. I’ve already read a few times today.” But this very very faint thought snuck into my mind and said, “that’s okay. Go grab your i-touch anyways. A few verses will only take a few minutes.” I thought for just a second, and then climbed out of bed. 3 Nephi 22: 7-14 “for a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord they Redeemer…..for the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee…In righteousness shalt though be established; thou shalt be far from oppression for thou shalt not fear, and from terror for it shall not come near thee.” I don’t know if I’ve ever felt the Lord speaking so directly to me. Almost every verse of that little 17 verse chapter was meant just for me, I know it. Tears filled my eyes as I lay in bed after reading that. And that’s when all those thoughts, and the story of my life with the iron rod, began to run through my head. I have yet to experience the last part of my ‘dream/thought’ with me finally taking the hand of the bishop, but I’ve already taken the step. It’s Friday night right now, and I can almost feel something foreshadowing a weekend of constant battle with the advisary. I know he will try everything he can to keep me from seeing the bishop Tuesday night. That’s because he knows how strong I can be with the Lord by my side. But I can’t give in. I won’t give in. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 01-23-11 So… I typed up all those feelings Friday morning as they were fresh on my mind, but now that Sunday has rolled around and I’ve had time to think and calm my thoughts down I’ve been debating as to whether or not I should leave it in this letter. I was reading over it however, and I think I had better clarify some things. That entire experience, and the inspiration I received it quite dramatic. I realize though, that it needed to be that way for me to realize where I’m at and where I want to be. Tanner, you should know that I have never let go of the iron rod and strayed from my path. I guess in a way, we all kind of loosen our grip at times, but I know this church is true and I know everything about it is what I want in my life and how I want to live my life. I may forget that the Savior is always by my side, but that’s why I’ve decided to turn to my bishop. I feel like he’s the one that can help me see the Savior and learn to rely on him more. I tell you that because I don’t want you to be worried that I have completely lost my way – I haven’t. But it certainly seems like that after I share that story about my life. I’m doing quite well, dear, and I thank you for helping me stay strong. I also want to thank you for your incredible testimony in your last letter. That means so much to me dear. I love hearing you testify of the Savior and what he has done for you. You are incredibly strong and are such an example of the faith.

The Lord's Hand

Quotes from letters to Tanner
"I had an incredible experience last Sunday. The first of the week went very well. I was happier than I've been since you left and I even enjoyed work. Thinking about you just made me happy. Then starting Wednesday everything got harder. The next few days were long, I missed you terribly. Sunday was hard and I was holding back tears during sacrament. I pulled out my scriptures and realized that I hadn't been reading the last few days of the week. My itouch had died and I didn't want to get out of bed to get my actual scriptures, so I would just go to bed without reading or saying my prayers. Anyways, I couldn't remember where I was, so I guessed that I was in Alma 36. I starting reading and in verse 3 it says "...I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions and shall be lifted up at the last day." All of the sudden it just hit me. The Lord really has been strengthening me. I didn't know that He had been giving me so much strength to endure these last few weeks. Now I know how much I really do need the Lord in my life..."

I had another amazing experience of witnessing the Lord's hand in my life but it's written down in a letter to Tanner, not through dearelder.com so I can't just copy-paste it in here. I'll just have to wait till he gets home to read it again.

Called to Serve?

Tanner got ordained an Elder today and I'm SO excited for him. He is the most amazing example to me and I've learned so much from him. I know that when he goes on his mission he will touch so many lives and have an incredible experience, and I hope that I will be able to have the same opportunity...I've been attending missionary prep classes every Sunday night for almost a year. I started going not because I was determined to go on a mission, but because I love the opportunity to learn more, especially about the gospel. And when I found out that Bother Lindon McKay was teaching it, I was even more exciting. Every time I go, I find I have more conviction to change who I am and become a better person; to work harder at reading my scriptures, to try and remember to say my prayers, to thank the Lord more often....

I have learned SO much from Brother McKay as he picks apart the New Testament, in the 15 mintues of class he calls "Footsteps in the Life of Christ." I've read the New Testament before, but I've never learned and understood quite as much as I do when he teaches. It has been the most amazing experience to watch the young men in that class go from being too timid to offer a pray, to sitting across from Brother McKay, pretending to convert him through their testimonies and knowlege of the scriptures.

Over the past few months I have often contemplated going on a mission, but I've never really known if it's something I should do. My patriarchical blessing says that I will have the opportunity of going on a mission with my husband someday, but I don't know what that means for me in the next few years...

Then today in sacrament I had an amazing eye-opening experience. Sister Tara Caldwell returned home from her mission and spoke today. As I listened to her, I couldn't help but notice the joy that surrounded her. She seemed SO happy, and I know she loves the gospel. As she spoke about the experiences she had on her mission, I felt an incredible desire to serve a mission myself and I now know that it's something I'm going to aspire to do. I want so badly to have those same experiences; to share what I believe, to watch other people learn and grow, to serve - with all my heart, might, mind, and strength, and to feel the Spirit and gain a stronger testimony myself...

A Painting of His Son

An elderly man raised his only son by himself after his wife had passed away. The older man was an art collector so their home was full of beautiful, expensive artwork. When the son was 19 he went off to war. While there, he lost his life saving the life of another soldier. A few years passed when a young man showed up at the elderly man's door. The young man had wanted to thank the father for his son that touched him and saved his life, but never knew how. However, he was an amature artist and decided to paint a portrait of the son. Although he knew this portrait would never measure up to the artwork the father collected, he presented it to him anyways.The father loved it so much that he placed the painting above his mantle - the center of his home and life. As people from around the world came to the man's home to see his collections of art, the very first piece he would show them was the painting of his only son that he loved so dearly.

Eventually the father passed away. An auction was held to sell all the artwork he owned, and people from around the world came. The auctioneer held up the first piece, the painting of the son. He opened the auction at 1000 dollars, but nobody would accept. The audience grew restless and insisted the auctioneer move on to the real art. The price dropped to 500 dollars, then 100, then eventually 5 dollars. Nobody seemed interested in the painting of the father's son, until a hand from the back of the group slowly raised. The hand belonged to the gardener - a worker and old friend of the father and his son. He didn't have much money and wasn't much for artwork, but he had grown close to the son as he watched him grow. At the selling of the painting of the son, the auctioneer closed the auction, announcing that in the will of the father, he left his entire inheritance to the one person that would accept his son.

Our Father in Heaven has promised us his entire inheritance to those that will accept his Son. All he asks in return is that we give to Him all that we can, even if it's just 5 dollars.

Courage

I had to speak at New Beginnings for the young women of my family's ward tonight (my mom happens to be the young women's president - that's why I was chosen). The mutual theme for this year is from Joshua 1:9 I believe. "Be strong and of a good courage, be not afriad, neither be thou dismayed - For the Lord thy God is with thee, withersoever thou goest." I absolutely love this scripture. It also happens to be the seminary theme from last year that we picked from seminary counsel - ironic? I don't think so.

For my talk at this fireside, I was suppose to talk about having courage while going off to college and getting married; because I'm such an expert on these two areas. But I believe it was a very successful talk - I made my mom and one of my former young women's leaders shed, or get close to shedding, a couple of tears. Very successful. I wanted to share one of the quotes I found while preparing for this talk... this morning :) Of all the quotes I found, this was my favorite -

"You don't develop courage by being happy everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity".

Tender Mercies

"Provo may seem like a safe haven, but a young woman's experience last week proved otherwise. The Provo Police Department dispatch center received a call from a young woman who had been assaulted while running on the Provo River Trail. She said a man attacked her from behind as she was running on the trail, forced her to the ground and thrust a piece of cloth with an unidentified chemical substances over her mouth. After the young woman screamed, the suspect let her go. Following the attack, a man was at the scene and assisted the young woman. He indicated he chased the suspect away.

The police took both the young woman and the witness to the police station for interviewing and found out that Micheal Workman, the purported witness, was in fact the alleged suspect. He told police he intended to sexually assult the victim, but desisted. Police arrested him and charged Workman with one count aggrivated kidnapping, as well as one count of attempted rape."

I read this in the newspaper today and was absolutely shocked. Before I left for BYU my dad made sure I knew that just because I was at a "mormon school" surrounded by "good mormon kids" didn't mean it was a safe place. He told me it was the perfect place for preditors to attack girls because they got too comfortable with their environment. I've always made sure I'm safe though. When I'm walking on campus after dark I always call Tanner and make sure I stay on main sidewalks.

The scariest part of this story is that I often contemplated running on Provo River Trail. When it was warmer I would go running a couple times a week and that trail was right next to my apartment. It seems like a beautiful trail, but for some reason every time I went running I felt like I should just stay on University Avenue... So I did.

I'm so grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord and the guidance of the Spirit and that this time I was willing to listen. I just pray that I will be in tune more often...

A Nail and a Fencepost

A father told his son one day, that every time he lost his temper to go hammer a nail into the fencepost in the backyard. The son willingly agreed and after the first day, realized that he had hammered in 37 nails. Everyday the son tried harder to control his temper and the number of nails he hammered in became less and less.

Finally after many months, the boy went an entire day without hammering a single nail into the fencepost. Pleased with his accomplishment, he found his father and told him the good news. The father smiled and said "I'm proud of you, son. Now every day that you don't lose your temper, I want you to go and remove a nail from the fencepost." And this the son did.

Eventually, all of the nails had been removed. Again, the boy went to his father to share with him what he had done. The father smiled, placing his hand on his sons shoulder, he said, "I'm so proud of you. But I want to show you something." They walked out back together and stopped in front of the fencepost, now free of nails. The father pointed to the post and said, "Every nail that you hammered into this post left a hole that weakened it, and can never truely be fixed. Although you removed the nails, the holes still remain, the post still broken. I can't tell you how proud I am of you of your accomplishments, but I want you to remember that every time you lost your temper, it left a hole in someones heart that still needs mending."