My Biggest Fear

I emailed my love a famous poem, "How do I Love Thee" because I was looking for a way to tell him how I felt - in a flirtation way, and not being very good with words, I assumed he would recognize the poem, appreciate my efforts, and no think much more of it. It turns out he hadn't heard it before, and wrote me this fabulous poem in response. It's amazing how much more I fall in love with him every day.

Beautiful prose, my dear love!
For your great talents thank God above,
So much love! I'm grateful to learn-
but now, my dear,
it's my turn.

When will I love thee? Let me fill you in.
I'll love you at the world's own end,

When the glass is half-full, or all the way empty,
I'll adore the little angel that the heavens lent me.

I'll be there, in your darkest hour,
white flag in hand, in the other a flower,
To hold you tight, and rub your shoulders-
I'll be here even when we're older.

We'll be together when wrinkles take over,
And rocking chairs make the best roller coaster.
Sweaters and sweat pants make the latest fashion,
There's nothing that can stop our youthful passion.

When you drop a glass, and it shatters completely,
I'll be there to help you clean it up neatly.
Sweeping and laughing, and a tad bit of teasing,
I admit that being around me won't be easy.

But I hope you'll stay with me, and stick around some,
Because, to be honest, you're the only one--
That I love like I do, and I'll prove it to you,
With each and every day,
That passes our way,

When will I love thee?

For all Eternity.

I feel too young to be able to think about marrying someone just yet, but then every day I spend with Tanner, I fall for him more and more. Am I too young to think that I may have found the one? Maybe. But maybe not. I've always told myself that I would never promise a boy I would wait for him while he was on his mission for two reasons: 1. I don't want to put my life on hold and miss out on things because I'm worry about 'my missionary' and 2. I want my future husband to focus on his mission entirely, serving the Lord with 'all his heart, might, mind, and strength" and not worry about 'the girl back home'. I didn't know that I would ever have to actually make this decision, let alone how hard it would be.

Right now I can say that I want to be around when he gets back, and with all of the things that I have planned for the next few years, I don't think it will be that hard (despite what everyone else thinks). Although I am afraid of making such an important decision now, my biggest fear is of what will change in the next few years; before, during, and mostly, after his mission. But I know now that it all boils down to this one simple point: I trust Tanner, and I trust his testimony in the gospel. He has shown me that he is much stronger than I first realized and I am entirely amazed at the wonderful young man that he is. I can't even explain how much I have come to admire, adore, and love him. In conclusion, I believe that everything will work out the way that it's suppose to.