Beauty

"I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me - dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows, give me a fringe. Then there’s the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable. I’d never go out in a mini-skirt. It’s nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn’t do that. Personally, I don’t actually think it’s even that sexy. What’s sexy about saying, ‘I’m here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I’ve got?’ My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder." - Emma Watson

This is absolutely beautiful. Why can't there be more girls in this world that are as comfortable with themselves as Emma? And why can't more men in this world support that? I admire Miss Emma Watson. She's the kind of example both girls and boys need nowadays...

From Nanny to Stripper

I've decided to switch jobs for the summer. Instead of being a nanny and cleaning up after and taking care of kids, I've chosen a more womanly field - Stripping. My dad got me into it. Jeremy says I'm a real woman now. Mom even taught me the song "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy which I often sing as I leave for work.

I am woman, hear me roar

In numbers too big to ignore...

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong

I am invincible

I am woman. 

(look it up - it's a very woman empowering song)

See pictures below...

Oh... did I mention that I'm stripping electrical wire?

MANthority

This is what Jeremy tells me I need to successfully run a home - some Manthority. It cracks me up. Every time he says it, "manthority" sure has some man attitude behind it. Jeremy and my mom have been my saving graces this weekend. Stopping by to check on me. Giving me hugs. Bringing me a candy bar just because. Offering to come over and be the manthority that I need. Making me laugh. I sure love them.

I've been babysitting the Wood children all weekend while their parents are in San Francisco. I've been told by some mom's in the ward that these kids are probably the hardest. My own mom says to not be so hard on myself... but I just want to be a good mom figure. Yet being a mom, even after just a few days, is HARD WORK - mostly emotionally. It's not easy transitioning into the one in charge, the one responsible, and the one that's suppose to know and fix everything. I watched the same kids last year for a week and by Wednesday I was sitting on the floor crying and calling my own mother. I didn't even make it two days this time. I sat on the bench in sacrament and just cried. I couldn't stop. My mom even sat by me and the kids to help but I was overwhelmed. My mom's advice, "laugh about it". I've always thought I was a pretty positive person but I didn't even know how to find anything worth laughing about. I wasn't getting anything right.

Today has been better. A few things have definitely brought a little giggle. I've had a smile all day. Although I didn't have a man to add the manthority, I maned up and implemented some myself. TV privileges? Gone. No negotiating. Ignoring Kyra? Not any more. Did they hear about how I felt about them disrespecting their swimming teacher? Oh they sure did. Gently but very stern. I even let Britton know that his behavior was unacceptable for a boy about to receive the Priesthood. I'm still trying to decide if that was too harsh or not... but at the same time, if he's old enough to have the Priesthood he's old enough to understand the responsibility, right?

I absolutely don't believe it yelling at children unless absolutely necessary but I've learned that they need a little authoritative parenting to know who's in charge and who to respect. I've got that 'stern mom look' down pat. I've had a quote by Machiavelli running through my head all day - "Is it better to be feared or loved?" Now my question is, how do you teach kids that respect equals love?

Maybe I'm getting there. I guess I shouldn't expect to know how to parent after a few days, or ever for that matter. Maybe the fact that Marissa was comfortable enough to snuggle up in my arms and cry, or that Britton accidentally said "okay I love you" before running out to see friends means they do like me and respect me. I've asked my mom so many question this weekend and she just smiled and told me that even now she doesn't have all the answers.

**But one of the best part about today so far? Figuring out how to install a printer onto my computer and successfully printing something (all by myself I might add). I don't care if this is suppose to be an easy task, it was a very proud moment for me :)

Abide with Me

Abide with me! fast falls the eventide; the darkness deepens.

Lord, with me abide!

When other helpers fail and comfort flee, help of the helpless,

oh, abide with me!

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day,

Earth's joys grow dim; it's glories pass away.

Change and decay in all around I see;

O thou who changest not, abide with me!

I need thy presence ev'ry passing hour.

What but thy grace can foil the tempter's pow'r?

Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?

Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me!

We sang this hymn in church today and for some reason it really touched me. It seemed to have the same words and emotions as my prayers lately. After having finished Believing Christ I've had an overwhelming desire to have Christ in my life as much as possible. Every time I see the picture of Him in my room I pause and stare at it for a moment, as if waiting for him to tell me something. Often times I stand there and ask Him what he wants me to do; with just about everything. I want nothing more than His guidance in every decision I have to make. I get so scared thinking about the future but I know that my future is as bright as my faith. I know that as long as I ask the Lord to abide with me, he'll be there every step of the way .

May 18th - Athens, Greece

Athens actually wasn't anything like I expected. Our first stop was at the Panathinion Stadium - the end of the marathon.

From left to right: Kelsey, Stephani, Me, Kristina, Kinsley

Finishing my own marathon ;)

Our next stop? The Parthenon!

We climbed up these lovely marble stairs and made our way to the acropolis.

Beautiful view of the city.

Although this picture doesn't do it justice, my favorite part about Greece was the fact that every building facade was stark white against the beautiful dark green trees. The contrast was incredible. One the bus ride we even passed a few orange trees - can you image, green trees, white buildings, and oranges everywhere?? Loved it!



May 17th - Cruising

Today was spent entirely at sea. I woke up early and went to the gym - it was so weird running looking out the window and only seeing water on all sides. For a moment it made me a little nervous.

It was so much fun exploring the ship and trying new things today! There was mini golf, a sports court, ping-pong, rollerskating, rock climbing, a card game room, free ice cream, ice skating, a library, and cute activities all day. We got to watch a fun ice show and just enjoy the relaxation of the ship.

We did have class today though. From 10 to 3 with an hour for lunch. It was so much more exciting and easier to pay attention this time than in a classroom. It was so fun to listen to everyone's opinions and views. I feel so much more connected with all the students and teachers knowing the I've had the opportunity to spend so much time with them. Although last week in Italy was only 7 days, it honestly felt like we have been gone for a month with all the information we have crammed in and all the places we have gone.

Every night we have dinner at the same time and I realized today that it would cause us to miss the sunset our entire cruise. I was not okay with this. So right before dessert was served I "went to the bathroom" and snuck out to the deck to check out the sunset. I'm sooo glad that I did.

It was absolutely beautiful! And funny story. After snapping a few pictures I leaned against the rail to just enjoy the peace of listening to the waves and watching the sunset. After a bit I noticed that a small chinese man was standing maybe 10 feet behind be taking pictures. I apologized for being in his way and he in his thick chinese accent he said. "No no. My intention is to get your profile." haha so I stayed there. He even asked me face a different directions at a certain point. After a minute he motioned me over to show me the picture he had taken. It turned out quite nice. Glad I got to help him out ;)

After dinner everyone kinda did there own thing. My roommates had decided to watch a movie but there was no way I was sitting down in front of a television in a cramped cabin room when there was entire cruise ship at my finger tips. I headed outside and noticed a full moon. It was absolutely breathtaking! The waves were so still that the reflection of the moon and the trail of light extended from the horizon all the way to where I stood on the ship. I wish my camera could have captured how beautiful it was.

I honestly can't believe how blessed I am to have this experience; to travel to another country, be emersed in the culture, and enjoy the beaty of the world from a cruise ship. I am so grateful for the opportunity to learn, to travel, and to experience new things.

May 16th - Sicily

For our first stop on the cruise, we landed on the island of Sicily and had the day to explore on our own. ("never go on against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" name that movie.) I had decided not to book a shore excursion because I wanted to see how my foot was feeling and then gage my day based on that - plus the shore excursions were sooo expensive! My foot was still pretty sore but how often to do you get to be in Sicily? I didn't want to spend the day on a ship. So Kelsey and I joined a few of the professors and headed on our way. We just decided to walk the streets and explore the churches we came upon.

We made our way to the highest one we could find and the view was stunning!

It's still hard to believe that I've really been in Italy and this time and now I'm actually on my first cruise ship.

Instead of hiking back down the hill we decided to try and catch a public bus. it was quite the challenge to figure out where to catch one but after a few attempts to have conversations with different locals we connected the pieces of information and figured things out (I had decided that day to stay with Rob and Natalie (one of the professors and his wife) because Natalie is 25 weeks pregnant so everyone had to go slow for her and I didn't feel like I'm was the one slowing everyone down).

We finally caught the bus but after a few minutes it didn't take us long to realize that we were headed further up the mountain - not down like we intended. We hopped off - crossed the street, and waited for a bus to come the other way. Not too much longer a bus came - it happened to be the same driver. I'm sure he thought we were nuts. Although we didn't get to see the quaint city like we were planning, we got to enjoy the ride and travel like the locals. We finally made it back to the ship and were able to eat lunch and sit in the sun and relax. I loved it!

Kelsey and I did our best to lay out in the sun but it was soo cold and windy! I guess we should have known it would be windy on a cruise but I didn't think it would be cold.

For dinner tonight we had our first formal night. it was fun to be able to get all dressed up fancy - it's been awhile. I tried duck for dinner - a cruise is the perfect place to try new food because it's all included in the flat rate you pay up front so if you don't like something you can juts order another dish and not worry about paying more. I didn't like it. At least I can say I tried.